We think it’s fair to say that very few solid products with a great reputation ever end up as the butt end of jokes. How many jokes do you hear about Rolls Royce or Rolex? You don’t, however, whilst carrying out some research recently we found a plethora of jokes on the internet aimed at the timeshare industry. OK owning timeshare may not be a joke, but when we found out that a timeshare joke had been featured in the blockbuster movie Shrek 3, we just had to dig deeper.
Shrek 3
A great series of animated films with Mike Myers voicing Shrek and the hilarious Eddie Murphy as Donkey. When Shrek was feeling sad, Donkey said, “What’s the matter Shrek?” Shrek replied, “I signed something I shouldn’t have signed” and Donkey replied, “Oh, you signed up for one of them timeshares?”
Watch the clip here.
Using some of the memes we found on the internet, we thought we would try to explain what the creator of said memes was thinking when obvious attacks on the industry were at the heart of the gags.
Lies on the tour
The first one crops up when you are told that the “tour” will only take 90 minutes. We all know that the mythical 90 minutes may soon turn into hours of unmitigated high pressure torture. We also know why people fall into the timeshare presentation trap, because they were offered some form of free incentive to attend:
Moving on, the timeshare sales reps, and all others associated with the industry will go out of their way to never mention the word “timeshare”. Over the years the word and the product have become so tarnished that although the name is never mentioned, nothing has changed. No matter what it’s called, it’s still just timeshare:
The tour always starts with a meet and greet, this is the sales reps chance to find out all about you, your family, work, likes and dislikes, and of course your holiday preferences. This meet and greet is also the opportunity to start to build a rapport with the prospects so the rep can position his or herself as your new best friend. This may come into play later when the good cop bad cop scenario plays out.
What you must remember is that this rep does this many times per day; it’s well rehearsed in the same way as every other facet that is the theatre of timeshare sales. This person has less real interest in you than flying to the moon, it’s all an act, with hopefully a large commission cheque at the end when the curtain falls, or put another way, when you sign up.
Whilst speaking of costs, the rep may mention the requirement to pay annual maintenance fees, though this may only come to light if you mention it first. In any case, the maintenance fees will be played down. How many of those who have been on a timeshare tour have heard reps describe maintenance fees as “a small expense” and that any annual rise will only be minimal? The truth is that maintenance fees always rise, and often way in excess of prevailing inflation rates.
At the end of this gruelling mind numbing tour, you still have the tenacity to say no but being polite you say you will go away, think about it, but you will be back, but you won’t. For timeshare staff the “be backs” as they are known are the worst thing imaginable because their prospects will never return, and the sales team know it.
Six or more hours of presentation time wasted, and not a dime to show for it. Be Backs never come back; they have seen the light and run for the hills.
The upgrade
As every timeshare owner will know, being sold to didn’t finish when you purchased the timeshare in the first place, oh no! Every time you take a holiday the “in house” sales team are lurking in the shadows. Whether the reason why you should engage with this team is couched as “an update meeting” or any other cock and bull name given, the job of the in house team is to sell you more and more. Over the years of ownership, timeshare developers make far more money from upgrades than the original purchase.
Much like the initial sales presentation, the upgrade rep will use all the tricks in the book to close a sale. The sense of urgency because the “special offer” is only available today, or other such like calls to action will be liberally peppered into the presentation.
Upgrades are rarely necessary and if entered into, overall, will not give any real benefit for the expenditure.
TCA comment
The first comment we would make is that all the graphics used in this article are freely available to view on the internet, meaning those who took the trouble to produce them will probably have been working from experience. If Hollywood takes a snipe at timeshare, that speaks volumes. Albeit a funny sideways look at the industry, we think our explanation of the gags is both accurate and true. Below we finish with a few more we found. Keep smiling!
DOH!
For more information regarding this article or assistance in any other timeshare related issues please contact the TCA on 01908 881058 or email: info@TimeshareConsumerAssociation.org.uk